Something good

Abraham sits on the floor with a wooden spoon, 2 small mixing bowls, and an empty gallon jug of milk. He stirs the spoon around the bowl, picks up the milk jug and pours it into the bowl, puts it down, reclaims his spoon and finishes mixing. He is completely focused and completely open to play. (Now he puts the milk jug in the drawer of baking things).

This creative-drama teaching-mama couldn’t be prouder.

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Bubby, my maternal grandmother, swears she was the first one to play pretend with me, sitting on her porch, “eating” ice cream. Did that event lead to who I have become? Will Abraham carry the memory (probably not consciously) of this free play and continue to play as a child, teenager, and adult? I don’t even mean in the theatre, I mean in his whole life.

(now he is trying to balance the milk jug upside down in the other bowl)

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I see him working so hard, playing so hard. I observe him, narrate what he does, add in objects to compliment his play. But then it is time for a diaper change and he screams, throws his head back, and tries to escape my evil clutches.

And I think to myself, I must do this too. In what parts of my own life do I rear my head back and try to escape?

And I think he and I have the same reasons: lack of control. When we play, we are free. But then we have to change the diaper and leave the comfort of freedom behind.

It is so hard to be a baby. So easy too. I’m so grateful for the time to see him struggle and see him be free.

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Local

I’m trying to get my friend Kirsten to move to Detroit because I can’t move there. She lives in Ann Arbor and could get a job in Detroit. She is an artist, a yoga teacher, and a compassionate, creative soul. She could do great things in Detroit.

Then I remembered that I live in Reading, a city that could use some compassion and creativity.

Then this morning, I read this article. And I remembered that I could do great things here.

As much as I actually don’t like growing up, I do like discovering the beliefs that matter most to me. If I observe where my own actions lead (because I believe in the cliche that actions speak louder), commitment to local is high on the list (close to importance of family, open time, thrift, and other things). When I worked at Touchstone Theatre, my favorite projects were always the very local pieces we created ourselves. The very personal/local transcends and becomes relevant to everyone, everywhere.

That is what I want to do in Reading.

Cycles

When I worked at Touchstone Theatre, Ysaye M. Barnwell of Sweet Honey in the Rock came to work on a community project, gathering songs and stories from the African American community in the area. She is an inspiration musically, communally, and personally.

I was just doing some research on creative additions to the Brit Milah (ritual circumcision) and came across a Kahlil Gibran poem that she put to music. It is beautiful, but more something I’d give myself rather than give my son.

I was struck more than anything on the cycles of life. How this lifecycle event (my child’s bris) put my memory back to my work at Touchstone and with Ysaye. I begin my official work writing a play tomorrow, January 1, to fulfill my obligations for the grant I received. I want to get The Reading Theater Project up and moving again, even if in baby steps. The religious school I run needs a lot of creative and leadership support right now. And I’m going to have a baby any day now.

I could use a little creative inspiration right now. I need to find my creative voice anew, as a mother, as a stay-at-home whatever I am, as an independent artist, as a leader.

If the inspiration comes from the memory of working with a brilliant African-American woman and her music, all the better I say. We are all connected, all the same, despite our differences.

Mustache!

My husband loves me.

His beard was getting too bushy (he was growing it as I grow my belly, but it was starting to collect too many snacks). So he shaved it, leaving every girl’s dream: an evil mustache.

Too much fun for a Saturday night…

Value of Art

Americans for the Arts‘ ARTSblog had an interesting article about Art/Artists working in and with Communities.

I tried to leave a comment but was unable, so here are my thoughts:

I have seen, through my own work, that the arts are deeply connected to our communities, through art for art’s sake that is also art for humanity’s sake. I prefer when art is both – why can’t art be quality, creative, and meaningful to more than just us, those who make it.

The challenge I have faced, working independently or as part of a small ensemble, is that artists don’t often have the knowledge to “prove” their value to granters or community leaders, nor do they have the finances to pay someone else to do it.

It is exciting to hear that HUD and Kresge are thinking more broadly about change and encouraging relationships between communities and artists. I hope that it reaches all levels of artists, not just those who are big and known, but also all of us who are small but creating great work.

As I work toward revitalizing the Reading Theater Project, I have these conversations with myself a lot: what is the value of art (of theater)? what kind of art do I want to make? do I want the art to serve the artist or the community? What I keep returning to is YES – I believe that art can do all of these things and we don’t have to choose. We can produce a place, write a play, develop a performance as an ensemble; it can be high quality art and highly creative AND be meaningful to the community we live in.

This is my goal. Maybe I am naive. Maybe it is possible with the right people.

Perks

GOOD Magazine recently had an issue on work. Some interesting job perks I found perusing the online version of the article. Some of the perks support people who are working at the company for philosophical reasons and other honor family life in very admirable ways:

• At Google, new parents get more than maternity leave: up to $500 of reimbursements for take-out when their newborn’s needs mean no time for home cooking.
• Patagonia offers an employee internship program, allowing workers to take paid time off to intern at the environmental nonprofit of their choice.
• Trader Joe’s has a company-paid retirement plan that automatically pays an amount equal to 15.4 percent of a worker’s annual income into a retirement account—without the employee having to contribute a single cent.
• Target will connect employees to “wellness coaches,” who help them lose weight, quit smoking, eat healthily, and de-stress.
• Netflix full-timers not only get unlimited rentals, but also unlimited vacation days, as long as they get their work done. (brilliant!)

Note to self: If I am ever in a position to run a company of any size, take this list to heart.

Loathing and Fear

This may be a rant.

I am tired of fear-mongering everywhere I turn. So many of the baby books, articles, or podcasts I turn to to learn about pregnancy and newborn-hood are all about the problems and risks. So many people offer advice based on fear (don’t do yoga, don’t eat spicy food, don’t get a microvan, don’t lift that, don’t climb on that, don’t stand). Step-parenting is all fear based (what if their mom sees the kids playing outside without a coat on a 60º day – will I go to jail? if the kids forget to bring something back to their other house because we are trying to teach them to be responsible for their own things – will i get yelled at?).

Even being a regular old person, forget the kids, is fear (terrorists will kill us all, all people of color are to be feared, white men are also to be feared, women you don’t know are probably out to steal your husband or your children, don’t make eye contact, don’t talk to anyone you don’t know, don’t help people because it is probably a trap, don’t walk alone at night, don’t park in parking lots or garages, don’t let your purse out of your sight, lock all your doors…).

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

I know there are things in the world that are dangerous and to be feared. But I’m tired of being taught to fear everything. And I don’t want any of my children (step-, bio-, those I teach, etc) to grow up being afraid of everything. Which doesn’t mean I want them to get hurt. Quite the opposite.

Fear makes us stuck. We are so concerned with being perfectly safe that we have lost our creativity and ability to make mistakes.

It isn’t easy. When the kids run outside to play, I want to go with them, solve their squabbles, yell “car,” make sure they don’t get grumpy from being too hungry, tell them to pick up their toys so they don’t get ruined or stolen. But that won’t help them learn to solve their own problems, see the actual danger in front of them, recognize their own needs, take care of their own belongings.

They recognize the fear in their parents, teachers, family. I don’t want to be one more grown up telling them what to do to keep them safe. I want to give them space to be themselves. No small task.

This blog, Free Range Kids, helps. I know I’m not the only one.

I always wanted to be a Little Rascal, usually Darla.

Updates

Not actually MY brain

I have several different categories that I like to write about: arts and theatre, my family, being pregnant, yoga, and personal things. Here is a general update of what’s going on in my brain these days:

1. Arts in Education – I read a great article in American Theatre Magazine about creating theatre with and for autistic students. Using theatre for its therapeutic values: building verbal and non-verbal communication skills and increasing abilities to work together. I have done this kind of work before, with autistic students as well as students with a variety of emotional issues. It is amazing to see the rapid changes in these students when they connect with the material and each other.
2. Family – My mom moved back to Florida. She had moved to PA to be close to us and the baby, but things didn’t work out according to plan. My sister and I drove down with her, stopping in North Carolina very briefly to see an Aunt and Uncle in Winston-Salem and and Aunt, Uncle, and Cousin in Charlotte. Then we continued on to Pensacola where we saw Dad and Brother, more Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins,  one Bubby, and a few friends. I was sad for my mom thather plans fell through up here, but it was nice to have a reason to see my family. I hadn’t been back to Pensacola since August of last year.
3. Myself – It is hard to separate myself from all that is going on with everything and everyone else. I have become impatient. I don’t like this, and I keep thinking since I’m aware of it, I should be able to master it, but I can’t. Yet.
4. Pregnant – He is moving more, but not kicking. I feel him pressing against my abdominal wall or spine or bladder (usually when no bathroom is in sight!). At the midwife’s office yesterday, I received a packing list for having the baby. My favorite thing on the list is juice – I love juice and if labor is an excuse to drink an over abundance, bring it on.
5. Theatre – I’ve been catching up on old American Theatre magazines (who has time for magazines of substance unless on an airplane?!). I read about theatre festivals going on all over the world; one that particularly caught my interest is in Germany and for children. No child actors, lots of mature material but in a kid-appropriate way. I want to go to there. I’ve been thinking about this play for children that I have a grant to write in 2011. I want the topic to be something mature and thoughtful and provocative, but of course for young people. I’m currently thinking of time. Big topic, but lots of possibility. And it will make David happy because it is science.
6. Yoga – My practice has changed so much. The weirdest thing is that I’ve gotten away from studying the yoga sutras. That is something I can continue even while I’m in labor (though I don’t know I’ll really be able to concentrate), but for some reason, I have stopped reading and thinking about them. Some svadyaya (self-study) may help reveal why and guide me back to the books.

What are YOU thinking about?

Art Again

I need to figure out how to be superwoman.

 

I could still look good in a leotard.

 

I have always loved having a million things to do all the time. And I became, I think thought humbly so, very good at balancing all of them. But since being pregnant, I have felt a deep desire to say NO to most things. And I have been, proudly. And to the astonishment of my husband.

But I may have gone too far. I find myself wasting my days reading useless internet pages and compulsively checking Facebook (for what, I don’t even know). I have plenty to do, but I have very little structure unless I make it for myself, which makes it hard for me to even do the little I have do to, much less anything else.

And I’ve been so looking forward to this free time. I just don’t know what to do with free time.

Tonight I went to a meeting called my the new Berks Arts Council Director. He has an idea to create a fringe festival in Berks County. It was very, very exciting to be in a room of mostly community theatre folks who are interested in thinking outside of the proverbial box and making great art happen here.

And, as I am the Artistic Director of the Reading Theater Project (more on this another day…), I am eager to be involved. And I’m having a baby in 2-3 months, which is another thing I have been eager to do for a while. And writing this children’s play I received a grant to do. And other work (teaching arts-in-education, running the Religious School, teaching yoga).

Hence, the need to figure out how to be superwoman. Balance of self and family. Difficult, but a necessity. I don’t think I can function well otherwise.

Caps for Good

In addition to being a straight ally, arts-education activist, thifty-lover, and concerned citizen for the health and education of those with fewer resources than I have, I have of late become interested in newborn health. It makes sense, this is a topic that is quite literally close to my heart (about 6 inches below and a little to the right, to be precise).

I also love crafting, which is not necessarily something to take a stand for, but certainly makes the world a better place: slowing us down, reusing materials, working together, supporting local crafters.

Here is a way to combine crafting and newborn health: Caps for Good. Basically, you knit or crochet tiny hats to donate. They will be sent to the developing world. Many local hospitals also collect tiny hats and blankets for their newborns.

I am here committing to make one hat to donate for every craft project I make for the Raspberry. Winter is coming and we all need to stay warm. Here is a way to keep even the tiniest among us warm too.